Maybe that's just my house

A few days ago I was humming along to "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year". Here, for your perusal, are the lyrics:

It's the most wonderful time of the year
(Most wonderful time)
With the kids jingle-belling
And everyone telling you
Be of good cheer
It's the most wonderful time of the year
(Wonderful time)

It's the hap-happiest season of all (wonderful time)
With those holiday greetings
And great happy meetings
When friends come to call
It's the hap-happiest season of all

There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for roasting
And caroling out in the snow (out in the snow)
There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories
Of Christmases long, long ago

It's the most wonderful time of the year
There be much mistletoe-ing
And hearts will be glowing
When loved ones are near
It's the most wonderful time of the year, ooh ah



Now, might I direct you to the 3rd stanza. My question is this: Who the fuck tells scary ghost stories at Christmas? In 28 Christmases, I have never heard anyone say "Well, now that the gifts are open, who wants to hear the story about the serial killer with the hook!" But, again, maybe that's just my house that we have a non-ghost story Christmas. Could he just not find anything else to rhyme with glories? Or are these Christmas ghost stories something I have been sheltered from?

I am mean

You know what is a fun game? Going to hotornot.com and doing some "reverse rating". Anyone who looks weird or ugly- rate a 10. Anyone who is in any state of undress, showing their abs or boobs or trying to look "sultry"- 0 . And that pretty much sums up everyone on there- future serial killer or slut. It makes me giggle to watch their scores climb or fall and since I have gotten some of the same pictures multiple times, I can see what an impact I'm having.

Shocking Christmas Confession

I generally love all things Christmas. I sing along with carols, laugh, cry and speak along with many Christmas movies, and read and re-read Christmas stories from A Christmas Carol to How the Grinch Stole Christmas. What can I say? I am just a sucker for Christmas. I even like wrapping presents (even though I wish I was much better at it). But, there is one thing about Christmas that I can't stand and it makes me feel guilty. It is "The Gift of the Magi".

For those who haven't (and don't want to) read it, here is the gist: poor couple need money to buy each other Christmas gifts. Woman sells her hair to buy watch chain for man. Man sells watch to buy hair combs for woman. It is supposed to show that "their love is the only gift they need". Sounds pretty crappy to me. Here are the reasons I hate this story:

1). Umm, are you telling me that neither one of you made a Christmas list or even discussed what you wanted with the "love of your life". I mean, if I love somebody, I will even go so far as to ask them to make a list or at least a few suggestions. If you had mentioned wanting hair combs/ a watch chain, wouldn't you look for something other to sell than your hair/ watch? (Oh right, but it's supposed to show that they sold their "most prized possesion" because they care for each other so much.

2). Now neither one of them has a gift they can use and O. Henry refuses to let us know what happens December 26th. We all know that is the biggest day for retail returns. So obviously they take back the combs to get the watch because they can't get her hair back, right? But soon it will grow back so maybe they keep the combs for that time, but what do they do with the watch chain, HUH!!?? Maybe he can just wear it and make up times if people ask him?

3). What happens to the hair she sells? Because, if it is made into a wig, she can just buy the wig and then continue to sell her hair each year for his gift (and then wear the wig until it grows out again). However, this may not be a great solution because, look at the mess she got into this year with selling her hair.

4). What kind of hair cut did she get where she can't wear combs in it? Because I m picturing combs like this. You could still put that in short hair, right? Are these special old-timey combs that I am not aware of? Or did she go the Britney route and get a buzz cut?

5). The place where Della sells her hair has the name Mne. Sofronie. Hair Goods of All Kinds. Now, if it really is hair goods of all kinds maybe she should have made a deal for some hair that doesn't require combs, if you get my drift.

6). It clearly says that the watch was passed down from Jim's father and grandfather. If they used it all that time without a chain, what the heck is Jim's problem?

I know it's supposed to have a good moral about love being all you need and all that, but it just pisses me off.

When I grow up . . .

I want to be this guy. Seriously- he's my new Favorite. Person. Ever.